The Devil And Peter Graves

from by The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs

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lyrics

Chewin’ on a rail spike
He spits grain alcohol down
His boots grind gravel
His hands push fault lines around


His hair’s worth money
Has suits of human skin
Lives in a tornado (oh no)
And bleeds straight victory gin


You can’t bring him down


Colder than a glacier
And he moves twice as fast
Hotter than a biscuit
Inside a nucular blast


Tougher Than Leather
Raising Hell
The King of Rock
Back From Hell


He ate a landmine
And shat a rhubarb pie


You can’t take him
You can’t take him
You can’t take him…down!


(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
and when he stands up you know he’s gonna block out the sun!
(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
And when he stands up you know he’s gonna arm wrestle God.


[solo]
You can’t take him
You can’t take him
You can’t take him…down!
You can’t take him
You can’t take him
You can’t take him…down!


(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
and when he stands up you know he’s gonna leg wrestle Ghandi!
(Peter Graves!)
They built him Tonka tough
(Tonka tough!)
He fucked a Sherman tankl
(Sherman tank!)
and when he stands up you know he’s gonna block out the sun!


[Spoken part]
A lot of people don’t realize that before he hosted A&E’s Biography Peter Graves was voted “mostly likely to bench press a battle ship” in his high school yearbook.
Peter graves left school a year early because he had absorbed all the knowledge he needed from the light of our yellow sun.
He then opened a chain of upper class strip clubs called “Peter Heaven”
Shortly thereafter, Peter Graves went back in time and punched General Vericomb Vespucci so hard it erased him from history for all time. That’s why you don’t know whom I’m talking about.
Every Easter Peter Graves shits a Faberge egg…if he sees his shadow.
His favorite video game was Donkey Kong, only he plays it with a real silverback gorilla… a real scared one.
And if you see him coming you’ll know it cuz the sun goes out, the air dies all around you and your mortal prayers are pressed into nothingness by his mere presence!


[sang part]
The legend of Peter Graves
Is one that’s rarely told
But I’m friends with his sister’s friend


Yeah I got time on my hands
It keeps my mind off things
It gets pretty lonely here and well
HOW COME YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME MOMMA!


All hail Peter Graves! All Hail Peter Graves!

credits

from Hot Garbage, released January 3, 2009

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