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Hot Garbage

by The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs

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    Immediate download of 6-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. Includes pdfs of album artwork.
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1.
I was sittin’ on my porch just playin’ this song when all of a sudden the devil came along His ponytail swinging in his black corvette, I was impressed by his personal jet I said devil, sir, that’s all fine and good but what brings you here to my neck of the woods You wail on guitar that’s word on the street, I brought you a contract could you sign it for me Yeah yeah yeah He handed me a paper with ink as red as flames, in legalese that makes you want to go insane I said Hey When do we play? He handed me a pen and he told me where to sign, and a hundred bucks and said that there was mine I said hey When do we play? Cuz when we play It’s with fire Cuz when we play it’s with fire I split the hundred bucks up square in the band fifty thirty thirty cuz that’s an even hand I bought a stripper and a boss hog cigar, Hotskins bought a bus pass cuz’ he ain’t got no car Monroe bought a hat and a bike built for three we rode it to a bar and we started to drink And then Tigris came and we’ve been here all day and we play with fire if we bother to play at all And when we play it’s with fire. With fire With fire With fire We do the devil’s... work Work Work We are The Dagg Nabbit Stubbs and we bring you the gift of... Love
2.
Hand me my drinking jar And get in the car Strap in the baby And my sweet cousin Ronnie Cuz he’s got special needs! We’re going drivin’ Down dark country roads Like we was shot out a cannon And we’re gonna explode! Yeah! We’re going drivin’ going rou-ond We’re going driving goin’ Round Yeah we’re going drivin’ goin’ Round yeah! We’re gonna drive all shithouse tonight the devil told me so! We’re going faster Than the spectre of death Or a golden cheetah On some crystal meth! We’re goin’ cruisin’ At speeds unseen I got a radar detector Right in front of me! Yeah! We’re going drivin’ going rou-ond We’re going driving goin’ Round Yeah we’re going drivin’ goin’ Round yeah! We’re gonna drive all shithouse tonight the devil told me so! Ronnie, fetch us another Bartles’ N’ James from the cooler in the back Is this Pina Colada?! Damn it Ronnie, you know I like the blackberry! Give me that map, Mon-Roe! I swear for a yank you are dense. Tell me if I hit somethin’ It’s a shame we ran out of Boonesfarm that hour ago. Should we actually go somewhere? Or do you want me to keep doin’ doughnuts in this parking lot? That Wal-Mart security guard is pissed off he’s all like: [Horrifying scream of deathness] Don’t tell mom, c’mon Ronnie!
3.
Now’s your time to dance Grab your partner by the hand And don’t you ever take the answer “no.” Grab some candles and a boar Gut that sum-a-bitch on the floor Draw a star now in the blood So we can burn this place on down Grabbin’ your partner you swing round-n-round We’re tearin’ this place to the…(ground!) C’mon! Sing it! You’ve got to believe it We’re tearing this place to the… Now’s your time to dance Grab that cutie by the ass And push that booty out upon the floor Spin ‘em around now don’t be shy We’ve got demons, punch, and pie But save some room for the holy ghost ‘cuz that’s a three-way here we go! Grabbin’ your partner you swing round-n-round We’re tearin’ this place to the…(ground!) C’mon! Sing it! You’ve got to believe it We’re tearing this place to the… [Spoken] Ever since the dawn of time when Jesus first put intelligent designer feets at the end of our fins man has had the urge to dance. And every generation a brave John Ashcroftian man rises to keep those urges illegal! [spoken-y sang] I say look on deep down inside yourselves you’ll find a tiny man inside With a voice that you cannot silence and moves your spirit up high Take that little man by his little hand and he’ll show you how He dared to mess with Texas and defeated John Lithgow His name is Kevin Bacon and he has placed the truth inside your hearts Like a spider lays a million eggs inside every Hershey’s candy bar (What?) Grabbin’ your partner you swing round-n-round We’re tearin’ this place to the…(ground!) C’mon! Sing it! You’ve got to believe it We’re tearing this place to the… Yeah… Yeah… Yeah… To the ground! Tearin’ this place to the ground!
4.
I see you walkin’ By the Tilt-O-Whirl Your hair in curls You naughty gril I see you walkin’ Pink chewing gum poppin’ I’m the king of the fairground You’re the queen of the trailer— --Park you see. You’re the only girl here right for me. Hell yeah. It’s you and me and the devil makes four yeah I gotta make this quick I leave after the weekend [whisper] I see you walkin’ By the Gravitron Your legs so long So pale so strong I see you walkin’ Pink chewing gum poppin’ I’m the king of the fairground You’re the queen of the trailer— --Park you see. You’re the only girl here right for me. So you see I wanna take you out for chicken wings Medium spicy. It’s you and me and the devil makes four yeah I gotta make this quick I leave after the weekend It won’t take the man outta me to dip a corndog for you (Ahhh-Ahhhhs part) I see you walkin’ By the bumper cars You won’t get to far From my Carnie charms I see you walkin’ By the Midway signs My Ouija board Gives me pick-up lines
5.
Once upon a time not long ago Me and Tigris went out on his boat Stalkin’ a legendary bass that the locals call “the old general” So there we were on a private part of the lake In a dark tangle of fallen trees Munchin’ on a Dorito sandwich On a hunt for that mythical beast The one with a devilish glint in his eye and three kills to his name They even say that big mouthed bastard burned down Lou’s Bait N’ Tackle back in ‘92 (they say) All a sudden my line goes tight And my pole was near bent in half I knew it had to be the Ol’ General Calling me out for a street fight The son-a-bitch must weighed a hundred pounds And been around before the lake had been found He was tougher than any Bass But I’d snagged a fat hook in his ass yeah it’s true (oh yeah) Yeah! I’m gonna rip I’m gonna pull that line! Yeah! I’m gonna get I’m gonna take what’s mine! You better give it everything you’ve got, Sir! Cuz I’m gunnin’ for you and I’m raining fire! I fought the General till the sun went down My arms hurt and there was sweat on my brow But I knew that moment had come And the General was finally done The son-a-bitch must weighed a hundred pounds And been around before the lake had been found He was tougher than any Bass But I’d snagged a fat hook in his ass yeah it’s true So if you’re ever round a certain lake There’s a record there you’ll never break And a picture of a handsome man With a Dorito sandwich in hand Once upon a time not long ago Me and Tigris went out on his boat We caught a legendary bass and Went to Motel 6 for the continental breakfast.
6.
Chewin’ on a rail spike He spits grain alcohol down His boots grind gravel His hands push fault lines around His hair’s worth money Has suits of human skin Lives in a tornado (oh no) And bleeds straight victory gin You can’t bring him down Colder than a glacier And he moves twice as fast Hotter than a biscuit Inside a nucular blast Tougher Than Leather Raising Hell The King of Rock Back From Hell He ate a landmine And shat a rhubarb pie You can’t take him You can’t take him You can’t take him…down! (Peter Graves!) They built him Tonka tough (Tonka tough!) He fucked a Sherman tankl (Sherman tank!) and when he stands up you know he’s gonna block out the sun! (Peter Graves!) They built him Tonka tough (Tonka tough!) He fucked a Sherman tankl (Sherman tank!) And when he stands up you know he’s gonna arm wrestle God. [solo] You can’t take him You can’t take him You can’t take him…down! You can’t take him You can’t take him You can’t take him…down! (Peter Graves!) They built him Tonka tough (Tonka tough!) He fucked a Sherman tankl (Sherman tank!) and when he stands up you know he’s gonna leg wrestle Ghandi! (Peter Graves!) They built him Tonka tough (Tonka tough!) He fucked a Sherman tankl (Sherman tank!) and when he stands up you know he’s gonna block out the sun! [Spoken part] A lot of people don’t realize that before he hosted A&E’s Biography Peter Graves was voted “mostly likely to bench press a battle ship” in his high school yearbook. Peter graves left school a year early because he had absorbed all the knowledge he needed from the light of our yellow sun. He then opened a chain of upper class strip clubs called “Peter Heaven” Shortly thereafter, Peter Graves went back in time and punched General Vericomb Vespucci so hard it erased him from history for all time. That’s why you don’t know whom I’m talking about. Every Easter Peter Graves shits a Faberge egg…if he sees his shadow. His favorite video game was Donkey Kong, only he plays it with a real silverback gorilla… a real scared one. And if you see him coming you’ll know it cuz the sun goes out, the air dies all around you and your mortal prayers are pressed into nothingness by his mere presence! [sang part] The legend of Peter Graves Is one that’s rarely told But I’m friends with his sister’s friend Yeah I got time on my hands It keeps my mind off things It gets pretty lonely here and well HOW COME YOU DIDN’T LOVE ME MOMMA! All hail Peter Graves! All Hail Peter Graves!

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released January 3, 2009

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